A "Gotcha War" involves having an argument with someone who is taking out their anger on you in order to minimize or avoid their own inner uncertainties and fears. For the other person, it's easier to identify you as the problem and to take out their frustrations on you rather than accepting that the real issue resides within their own inability to confront the problem. A Gotcha War argument tends to leave you feeling stupid or crazed, despite the fact that you're more in the right than the person arguing with you.
Those particularly adept at "winning" the Gotcha War argument include adolescents, control freaks, and addicts, all people who can suffer a fair amount of uncertainty and fear about where their lives are headed. It is possible to extricate yourself from such an argument though, and you win when you prevent your emotions from controlling your response. Here's what to do to win a Gotcha War.
Marisa Tomei Shannyn Sossamon Rachael Leigh Cook Elisha Cuthbert Ciara
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