Monday, January 31, 2011

? Bull?s-Eyes and Crosshairs

Evangeline Lilly Lisa Marie Keira Knightley Monica Keena Anne Marie Kortright

Motorola Atrix promo hits the web

Nicole Richie Norah Jones Nicky Hilton Garcelle Beauvais Kristy Swanson

How to Make Mixed Nut Toffee Tart

This is a delicious toffee tart with crunchy roasted nuts that can be enjoyed with your afternoon tea or coffee. This recipe serves 4 to 6.

Victoria Pratt Shakara Ledard Vanessa Marcil Rachel McAdams Kristin Cavallari

Blogging: A Demanding Task with Few Rewards?

Note: I try not to blog about blogging at Get Rich Slowly. Though some of you are interested in the subject, most of you are not. Today’s article is a one-time deal. Last week, a reader named Matt sent me an article from Chicago Business about how bloggers are quitting what they call a demanding [...]

Diane Kruger Magdalena Wróbel Connie Nielsen Melissa George Cameron Richardson

What?s a Credit Score? An Intro to Credit Reports and Credit Scores

This post is from staff writer Sierra Black. Sierra writes about frugality, sustainable living, and getting her kids to eat kale at Childwild.com. A good friend of mine recently asked me what a credit report is and how he could get his hands on his. My friend has a PhD. He’s a smart guy, and [...]

China Chow Alecia Elliott Kat Von D Ana Paula Lemes Vanessa Simmons

Live blog: The Golden Globes ? live! | Hadley Freeman

Catch up on all last night's awards action with Hadley Freeman
?�News: Firth crowned while Social Network cleans up
?�Peter Bradshaw's reaction
?�Gallery: quotes of the night
?�Gallery: Globes arrivals
?�Gallery: TV winners
?�Full list of winners

12.15am GMT: Greetings all, and welcome to the preview to tonight's Golden Globes liveblog. While I may not actually be on the red carpet in Los Angeles, I will be reporting to you live from my red sofa in New York. Truly, no expense is spared in the Guardian liveblog department. This is journalism in action, people! Suck on it, Woodward and Bernstein.

Oh, I do love the Golden Globes. So much more fun than the Oscars, because the nominees tend to be more what my cousin Catie calls "loosey goosey", or what I call "drunk". The usual explanation for this is that it's because there are so many more acting categories at the Globes than at the Oscars. Thus, at least half the nominees go there assuming they won't get the big nod later so they may as well get plastered tonight. Personally, I think it's because the Golden Globes are voted for by Hollywood's Foreign Press Association and the usually teetotal Californian celebrities use this as an excuse to get wasted. Getting drunk: it's so European, you know? Hopefully, someone will be as European as Jennifer Aniston was the other week at the People's Choice Awards.

A couple of drunk celebs would definitely be some compensation for the irritation that is Ricky Gervais, who will be hosting the proceedings with a guaranteed smirk.

So while we're waiting for smirking Ricky, let's discuss the nominees, looking at who should and shouldn't have been nominated, who should win and who probably will.

BEST PICTURE ? Drama

Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The King's Speech, The Social Network.

I'm going to own up from the beginning and say I haven't seen The Fighter, mainly because I have seen The Wrestler, 8 Mile and Rocky, and therefore assumed I didn't need to. Also, I have a medical condition that makes it impossible for me to gaze upon Mark Wahlberg without shouting, "I'm picking up GOOD vibrations! She's giving me EXcitations!" so for the sake of fellow cinemagoers, I abstained. Thus, all predictions and opinions expressed herein should be taken with that cavil.

My only real problem with this slew of nominees is that Inception was nominated and 127 Hours was not. Hopefully we won't be talking about Inception much this evening and the only thing that needs to be said about that snorefest (a movie about sleep that puts you to sleep ? brilliant! Content equals form!) was that South Park's parody of it was a billion times better than the movie, plagiarism issues aside.

Otherwise, The King's Speech, enjoyable though it is, is little more than a conventional genre film stuffed with some great actors. I would be very happy if Black Swan won but I reckon it will go to The Social Network. Fair enough, although I do think that film will look ridiculously dated in just a few years' time. If Hollywood really wanted to make a movie about a website that changed the world, surely they should have made one about Google. I'm not on Facebook and yet I manage to get by. But I literally cannot remember the last day when I did not use Google at some point.

BEST PICTURE ? Musical or comedy

Alice in Wonderland, Burlesque, The Kids are All Right, Red, The Tourist

If The Kids Are All Right doesn't win this one, I'm throwing my laptop out the window. The Tourist?! Are you freaking kidding me, Foreign Press Association? The obvious omission here is True Grit, which is not a great film; it's not even a great Coen brothers film. But it is a hell of a lot better than The Tourist, aka The Snorist. Oh, I am on fire tonight.

BEST ACTOR ? Drama

Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network), Colin Firth (The King's Speech), James Franco (127 Hours), Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine), Mark Wahlberg (The Fighter)

Well, it's got to be Colin, doesn't it? And fair enough, really, even if that nod would probably be as much for A Single Man as The King's Speech. He really is great in the latter, though, and without him that film would be nothing more than a bit of royalist propaganda.

James Franco may cause an upset, perhaps in compensation for 127 Hours' bewildering omission from Best Picture category, and also for his great performance this year in Howl. But I reckon the best of Franco is yet to come. The King's Speech is definitely Firth's bid for glory. Jesse Eisenberg would also be a pleasing winner, even if his recent interview with Conan O'Brien, in which he expanded at length about his addiction to adopting cats, suggested that his performance in The Social Network as a reclusive, socially awkward nerd did not tax his talent too greatly.

BEST ACTRESS ? Drama

Halle Berry (Frankie and Alice), Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole), Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone), Natalie Portman (Black Swan), Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)

Kidman? Oy vay. The critics love her, which is why she may ? unbelievably ? get an award tonight. But to quote Will Ferrell in Zoolander, I feel like I'm eating crazy pills here! The woman cannot act! She can't even move her face anymore these days!

I'd love to see Michelle Williams win, but she won't because she has an orgasm in Blue Valentine and, apparently, that's a bad thing. Natalie Portman will surely get it, and not just for her brilliant performance. She lost some weight for Black Swan, you see, and in Hollywood that in itself is worth international acclaim.

BEST ACTOR ? Musical or comedy

Johnny Depp (Alice in Wonderland), Johnny Depp (The Tourist), Paul Giametti (Barney's Version), Jake Gyllenhaal (Love and Other Drugs), Kevin Spacey (Casino Jack)

You know, there are some times in life when you feel like the world makes absolutely not a jot of sense. Looking at this list of nominees is one of those times. How on earth could Gyllenhaal be nominated for Disease Movie of the Week? Or Johnny Depp for The freaking Tourist? And most of all, why weren't Jeff Bridges or, in particular, Matt Damon for True Grit? Damon is really, really great in that film, giving a vanity-free, ego-free, genuinely funny performance, which is not something that can be said about pretty much anyone else on this list. So in conclusion, my reluctant vote goes to Paul Giametti, who is pretty good in Barney's Version, even if the film isn't, and, most of all, seems like a nice guy. Here, Paul, have an award.

BEST ACTRESS ? Musical or comedy

Annette Bening (The Kids Are All Right), Anne Hathaway (Love and Other Drugs), Angelina Jolie (The Tourist), Julianne Moore (The Kids Are All Right), Emma Stone (Easy A)

OK, just looking at this list makes me cross. So to spare my blood pressure, I'll just say I'd be happy with either Julianne Moore or Annette Bening winning tonight, and I reckon it will be Bening.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Christian Bale (The Fighter), Michael Douglas (Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Andrew Garfield (The Social Network), Jeremy Renner (The Town), Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)

Well, the critics seem to think that Bale will get it and, as I said earlier, I can't really comment on that beyond a non-caring shrug. I think it's a real shame that Guy Pearce wasn't nominated for The King's Speech as the Nazi-appeasing, Wallis-obsessed prince, but maybe that upset some people's preferred image of the British royalty as glorious demi-gods too much. Justin Timberlake for The Social Network is also a sad omission, and he has been unjustly overlooked in a lot of the coverage of the movie.

I really hope that Michael Douglas doesn't win this. While I am very pleased he has recovered from cancer, he shouldn't get a Golden Globe for doing so, not least because that seems like a pretty patronising response to fighting a life-threatening illness, and Douglas is better than that and a better actor than he was in that movie. The voters may well disagree. I'd love Andrew Garfield to win it and not just because I have an inappropriate old lady crush on him. OK, that is totally why I want him to win it.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Amy Adams (The Fighter), Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech), Mila Kunis (Black Swan), Melissa Leo (The Fighter), Jackie Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

Mila Kunis instead of Barbara Hershey for Black Swan? Poor choice, Foreign Press Association. Oh well, in the absence of Hershey and her Mommie Dearest routine, I'm rooting for Helena, and I reckon she'll get it. Her brittle performance in The King's Speech was great, and plus, she's kinda awesome.

BEST DIRECTOR

Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan), David Fincher (The Social Network), Tom Hooper (The King's Speech). Christopher Nolan (Inception), David O Russell (The Fighter)

Well, I'd prefer Aronofsky to get it as The Black Swan was a lot more imaginative and exciting than The Social Network, but Fincher may well get in there. It's probably between those two, and either would be acceptable. In terms of omissions, though, I'm not quite sure why Danny Boyle was left off here. Maybe they feel he had his fill from Slumdog Millionaire. Shame, because 127 Hours is not only a better film than Slumdog but it's a better film than many on this list.

BEST SCREENPLAY

127 Hours (Simon Beaufoy and Danny Boyle), Inception (Christopher Nolan), The Kids Are All Right (Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg), The King's Speech (David Seidler), The Social Network (Aaron Sorkin)

It should and will be Sorkin, and that's all there is to say.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

Despicable Me, How To Train Your Dragon, The Illusionist, Tangled, Toy Story 3

Toy Story. Duh.

BEST FOREIGN FILM

Biutiful, The Concert, The Edge, I Am Love, In A Better World

I'm ashamed to say that, of these, I've seen only I Am Love, so I'll leave you guys to duke this out among you.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

"Bound to You," Burlesque (performed by Christina Aguilera; written by Samuel Dixon, Christina Aguilera and Sia Furler)

"Coming Home," Country Strong (performed by Gwyneth Paltrow; written by Bob PiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges)

"I See the Light," Tangled (performed by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi; written by Alan Menken & Glenn Slater)

"There's a Place For Us," The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (performed by Carrie Underwood; written by Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey)

"You Haven't Seen the Last of Me Yet," Burlesque (performed by Cher; written by Diane Warren)

Oh God, please not that Gwyneth song. I can't take Gwyneth with a guitar. Gwynnie, please, go back home and write some more newsletters about how you and your friends spend your days.

The one everyone is rooting for is, of course, You Haven't Seen the Last of Me, because everyone wants to hear Cher sing and see what Cher is wearing. Am I right or am I right?

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Inception (Hans Zimmer), The King's Speech (Alexander Desplat), The Social Network (Trent Reznor and Atticus Rose), Alice in Wonderland (Danny Elfman), 127 Hours (AR Rahman)

Tough one, actually. I always love an Elfman score, and I salute Danny Boyle's wisdom in continuing to work with AR Rahman after teaming up with him for Slumdog Millionaire. But my personal choice would be for Trent Reznor (duuuude!) and Atticus Rose's gloomy, tension-filled music for The Social Network. I bet they'll give it to Hans Zimmer for Inception, though.

BEST TV SERIES ? Drama

Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, The Good Wife, Mad Men, The Walking Dead

I'm not going to talk about Mad Men tonight because a Guardian journalist raving about Mad Men is like a French man wearing a beret ? too much of a clich� to stomach. So all I'll say is it surely will win, and deservedly so, though I'd be happy with The Good Wife, too.

BEST TV SERIES ? Musical or comedy

30 Rock, The Big Bang Theory, The Big C, Glee, Modern Family, Nurse Jackie

This is without a doubt Glee's year. Gleek out, people.

BEST ACTOR ? Drama

Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire), Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad), Michael C Hall (Dexter), Jon Hamm (Mad Men), Hugh Laurie (House MD)

Look, I love Steve Buscemi as much as the next fan of weird-looking actors, but he should not win this. That show is lame and, good as Buscemi is, he has been better elsewhere. Anyway, this is all academic as Hamm is surely going to walk this one.

BEST ACTRESS ? Drama

Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men), Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife), Piper Perabo (Covert Affairs), Katey Sagal (Sons of Anarchy), Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)

I love Elisabeth Moss ? well, I love her character on the show, anyway. The Scientologist Moss, perhaps, not so much. But this one will probably go to Margulies, as it should.

BEST ACTOR ? Musical or comedy

Alec Baldwin (30 Rock), Steve Carell (The Office), Thomas Jane (Hung). Matthew Morrison (Glee), Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)

Baldwin just gets better and better in 30 Rock but I think they'll give this one to Matthew Morrison. Baldwin probably doesn't have any room left on his mantelpiece for another award, anyway.

BEST ACTRESS ? Musical or comedy

Toni Collette (United States of Tara), Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie), Tina Fey (30 Rock), Laura Linney (The Big C), Lea Michele (Glee)

At last ? a list of nominees I can totally get behind. No idea on this one, really. Fey, maybe? Or Linney? Either one would be acceptable.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR ? TV series, miniseries or made-for-TV movie

Scott Caan, (Hawaii Five-o), Chris Colfer (Glee), Chris Noth (The Good Wife), David Strathairn (Temple Grandin), Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)

Maybe one day people will explain to me the appeal of Chris Noth because even after watching each episode of Sex and the City at least seven times, occasionally dipping into Law & Order and a recent addiction to The Good Wife, I do not get it. I like all of those shows (well, "like" might be a bit strong for Law & Order) not because of Noth but in spite of him. Anyway, Chris Colfer is adorable on Glee but my heart belongs to Eric Stonestreet on this one. He is just ace on Modern Family, which is, itself, ace.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS ? TV series, miniseries or made-for-TV movie

Hope Davis (Special Relationship), Jane Lynch (Glee), Kelly Macdonald (Boardwalk Empire), Julia Stile (Dexter), Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)

Jane Lynch Jane Lynch Jane Lynch. Hey! Did I mention Jane Lynch? That woman deserves awards every day of the week and Sunday, too. Jane Lynch!

BEST ACTOR ? miniseries or made-for-TV movie

Idris Elba (Luther), Ian MacShane (Pillars of the Earth), Al Pacino (You Don't Know Jack) Dennis Quaid (The Special Relationship), Edgar Ramirez (Carlos)

I'm guessing they'll give it to Edgar Ramirez. But as this is a British newspaper website, one is duty bound to root for the British actor and, as I don't want to vote for Ian MacShane, I guess I'm Team Idris.

BEST ACTRESS - miniseries or made-for-TV movie

Hayley Atwell (Pillars of the Earth), Claire Danes (Temple Grandin), Judi Dench (Return to Cranford), Romola Garai (Emma), Jennifer Love Hewitt (The Client List)

Jesus, Mary and Joseph ? Jennifer Love Hewitt? For that piece of crap? That show was absolutely the nadir of Hewitt's career and, as all Hewittologists will appreciate, that really is saying something. This one is up in the air so I'll just randomly guess, er, Garai? Yeah, give it to Romola Garai.

Right, I'm going to make some popcorn now and so should you. Let's rejoin at 1am GMT, when hopefully there will be some famous people wearing expensive clothes on the red carpet that we can look at and discuss.

Right folks, so here we are on the red carpet, let's look at some clothes.

Oh mine eyes, mine eyes! What the HELL is January Jones wearing, a woman who is going to get a reputation for the worst red carpet dresser of all time. So, at the Emmys she wore a dress that looked like a Smurf had an accident on her.

Tonight, she is wearing some vomitous Versace dress that appears to be made out of red Band-Aids. "I'm not wearing this for nothing," she simpers to E!'s Ryan Seacrest. That sound you heard in the background was January's dignity dying.

OK, can someone explain to me how Kelly Osbourne has become E!'s red carpet fashion correspondent? Is there not an internal contradiction in there somewhere? E!, listen to me - Kelly may be wearing a peroxide bouffant these days but she is no Joan Rivers. Bring back Joan!

Ooh, it's starting! And here comes an incongruously slim Ricky Gervais. He appears to have been on Seth Rogen's diet and, like Seth, has lost his humour with his weight.

He's opening with a Charlie Sheen joke. Is that not basically the celebrity equivalent of opening with a mother-in-law joke?

Oh, now he's talking about the alleged bribery scandal, and made a joke about the amount of airbrushing on the Sex and the City 2 poster (prompting, pleasingly, laughs from Chris Noth, on whom the cameras were trained and ready). Some good jokes about the lameness of The Tourist, which got Ricky booed.

This is kinda like watching David Brent host an industry event in Slough.

ScarJo presenting first award for Best Actor. I do not approve of her dress (left). That is all I have to say for the moment.

AWARD! It's gone to Christian Bale, as was widely predicted. Bale is currently sporting a misguided combo of long hair and facial hair, aka the Charles Manson look (see below).

He also seems to be drunk. This is great.

Well, Katey Segal won for Sons of Anarchy, beating my favourites, Elisabeth Moss and Juliana Margulies. She gave a boring speech. Oh well.

At least this gave the camera time to pan away and look at the dresses. Let's discuss those now, shall we?

Well, Christina Aguilera appears to be wearing something from Karen Millen ("La Senza?" suggests my colleague, Janine Gibson). E! has the most amazing whizzbang graphic since the simulated crumbling paving stones I believe Newsnight did during the UK elections. It's called a 360 Glamcam and allegedly gives every view possible of an actress' outfit but is basically just a high tech way of getting some upskirt shots. Olivia Wilde, wearing what looked like a gold lampshade, happily obliged while Sofia Vergara from Modern Family obligingly stuck out what Kelly Osbourne referred to as "her bootie".

Julianne Moore and Kevin Spacey just presented the award for Best Actor in a Miniseries and, as I predicted, it went to Edgar Ramirez in Carlos. Meh. More importantly, Julianne, a word: when your hair is a lovely shade of red, don't wear a big pink sack for a dress. Glad to have cleared that up for you.

Good Lord, what the HELL has happened to Michelle Pfeiffer's face?! She seems to be presenting something but I can't see what because my eyes have been scarred by it.

Eva Longoria is now presenting an old guy who's apparently important - so important that he dies his white hair bright orange. This is a sign of being important, right, Rupert Murdoch?

AWARD! Steve Buscemi just won Best Actor in a Drama, a surprising upset, judging from the big cheer for Jon Hamm earlier. I am displeased by this win, for reasons discussed in my preview. But, hey, I like Buscemi. Did anyone ever see Trees Lounge, which Buscemi directed? That was good. I'm just going to pretend this award was for Trees Lounge. Or Fargo.

AWARD! Best TV Series Drama went to ... Boardwalk Empire! Jesus H Christ. Honestly, maybe if I just take some tape from a CCTV camera, stick Martin Scorcese's name at the beginning, I'll get a Golden Globe. This is ridiculous. People, listen to me, that show is booooring. I am now in a huff.

Andrew Garfield (left) is presenting a preview of The Social Network. Oh dear, he can't say the words "inspiringly written". Isn't being able to speak an important part of being an actor? At least he's handsome.

And now Alec Baldwin and J-Lo are presenting an award or, possibly, getting married, judging from the REVOLTING white dress J-Lo is wearing. Anyway, she attempts to do some humour - fail. He does some jokes - win. Give it up, Jen.

AWARD! Best original song goes to Cher's song! But - nooooo! That's not Cher getting up on stage - is it? Well, could be, anything's possible with Cher's plastic surgeon these days. No, it's definitely not, it's Diane Warren. OK, fair enough, she did write the song. But I cannot lie - this was something of a disappointing result, all things considered.

AWARD! The Social Network just won for best original score, as I wanted but did not predict. Go Trent Reznor! Nine Inch Nails fans all around the world are almost cheered up by the news. But then immediately sink back down into their usual collective depression.

Oh my God, the Biebermeister is presenting an award! Oh my gawwwwd!!!!!! His hair is wet! Is this the new Bieber barnet! Oh my gawdddddddd!!!!

Aptly, he is presenting the award for Best Animated Feature (insert joke about him being too young to see anything else, ho ho ho).

AWARD! Toy Story 3! As predicted! And deserved. Ahhh, Bieber brings so much happiness to the world, doesn't he?

Ricky has taken off his jacket. He is wearing a waistcoat. He looks like an extra from Back to the Future III. or maybe True Grit, if we're going for relevancy.

Robert Downey Jr is presenting an award and is wearing tinted spectacles bringing to mind the line from Curb Your Enthusiasm: "Only two types of people wear sunglasses inside - blind people and asses."

Angelina Jolie appears to be sitting in Brad Pitt's lap. Yes, yes, we know you guys have soooo much sex, get over it.

Robert seems to be making some kind of 'joke' about how he wishes he could sleep with all the actresses nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy or Musical. Wow, so he's like this when he's sober? Or has he taken so many drugs that he's permanently a jerk? Debate amongst yourselves.

AWARD! Annette Bening got it. Yay! As predicted and deserved. Warren is giving her a kiss. Yay Annette! A pleasing outcome.

Annette giving a very worthy speech, so worthy she has to wear her worthy spectacles. God, this is boring - maybe playing that humourless, worthy Joni Mitchell fan in the film wasn't much of a stretch for her, after all.

Ooh, cutaway shot to P Diddy! That was awesome. And incongruous.

Sylvester Stallone is presenting a clip of The Fighter (ooh yes, I see what he did there.) As I've already said, I haven't seen this film due to my Mark Wahlbergitis. So all I'll say is that Sylvester appears to be turning into his mother, Jackie.

Geoffrey Rush and Tilda Swinton presenting the award for best actor in a miniseries. Geoffrey Rush, for reasons that I suspect will remain opaque, is wearing a trilby.

AWARD! Went to Pacino. Meh. Shoulda been Idris.

Al Pacino giving a rambling speech. My God, Pacino, eh? The older he gets, the more he looks like a caricature of Al Pacino. Anyway, that wasn't nearly as interesting as it would have been if Idris or Lovejoy won.

AWARD! Best Actress for miniseries or made-for-TV movie - Claire Danes. Well, I am not a Danes fan so I'm not overly excited. But then, this was not a category I cared about much anyway so I guess I'll survive.

Zac Efron is presenting a clip of The Kids Are All Right and he is providing further proof that child actors rarely age well. They invariably look like old kids as opposed to youthful grown ups (eg Mickey Rooney, Leo DiCaprio.)

Tina Fey and Steve Carell are presenting an award for best screenplay and are being pleasing and funny. I quite like Tina's navy dress.

AWARD! Aaron Sorkin got it for The Social Network, as predicted and deserved. Here's hoping Sorkin makes some nasty comments about Sarah Palin, as he is prone to do.

Ah yes, there he goes, saying that the people at the ceremony have proven to his daughter that "elite" is not a bad word. That was a Palin dig, you know.

AWARD! Jane Lynch just won Best Supporting Actress in a TV series! Yay! "I am nothing if not falsely humble," Jane says. Oh, I do love her. And yes, we all know that she was brilliant in Best in Show and 40 Year Old Virgin but why doesn't anyone ever mention Role Models? My God, she was funny in that. Go Jane Lynch! Best speech so far and most deserving winner.

Ricky says the Twilight kids are presenting for best foreign film "the category that no one in America cares about." And seeing as - as I've already admitted - I have only seen one of those films, I guess I prove his point.

AWARD! Went to In A Bette World, and I'm sure it's great.
Anyway, Kristen Stewart's dress was kinda amazing.

Ooh, it's Helen Mirren! She's presenting a clip of The King's Speech - yes, again, we can see what they're doing here. Anyway, Helen's lovely.

Good LORD! It's Vanessa Williams and Blair Underwood, presenting an award for best actress in a comedy or musical. Now, I said 'Vanessa Williams', but judging from her mutilated face it is actually a Botoxed wax statuette, possibly of Cleopatra.

AWARD! Laura Linney for The Big C. Well, that's nice - Linney is great. Personally, I'd quibble whether a show about cancer really qualifies as a comedy but then seeing as The Tourist allegedly does, I guess the Foreign Press Association have a different kind of sense of humour than me.

Good LORD it's Jane Fonda, looking - well, looking scary but amazing with it. Fonda's there "for my friend Cher." Of course she is.

Cut away to Christina Aguilera and when I say "Aguilera" I mean "Aguilera's breasts."

AWARD! Good Lord - Jim parsons from The Big Bang Theory beat ALEC FRICKING BALDWIN? Matthew Morrison from Glee looks a bit naffed off, as well he might. Hugh Laurie just leaned over to his wife and visibly whispered "Who is that?" Best moment of that award.

Wow, it's Jeremy irons presenting Best Supporting Actress in a film and he looks like, well, he looks like Claus von Bulow, to be honest.

AWARD! Melissa Leo for The Fighter. Time to get more popcorn.

Matt Damon is presenting a lifetime achievement to Robert De Niro. Damon's doing some schtick about how he'd never heard of De Niro before he was in The Good Shepherd. De Niro doesn't look like he's enjoying this schtick so much.

Now they're showing clips from De Niro's career, in the years when he wasn't just in Meet the Fockers. Wow, those were the days.

Big standing ovation for De Niro. "And I loved you in The Fighter," he says to Damon. Which was funny. Almost as funny as the montage of clips they showed from De Niro's career ended in 2001 and didn't include anything in the Focker franchise, an omission De Niro amusingly makes reference to in his speech.

Apparently, this lifetime achievement is called a Cecil B DeMille award in Golden Globesland.

Oh my God, De Niro's actually complaining about all of his movies that were left out of his montage. Stanley and Iris? Frankenstein? No no, Bobby, the point of this award is to make us FORGET those films. Don't you get it?

Scary Megan Fox is on stage doing something. I appreciate that the international consensus is that she is the most beautiful woman in the world but I think she looks like Angelina Jolie's avatar. Anyway, she's presenting a clip of The Tourist, one of the worst reviewed films of the year and yet repeatedly nominated tonight. For shame, Golden Globes.

AWARD! David Fincher got Best Director for The Social Network. Personally, my second choice in this category but, you know what? I'll allow this one. David Fincher, I benevolently grant you permission to accept this award.

Colin Firth looks bored, James Franco looks a little stoned. I'm sure he's not, I hasten to add.

The fabulous Jimmy Fallon and the terribly dressed January Jones are presenting the award for Best TV Series - Musical or Comedy.

And as predicted, it's gone to Glee when it should have gone to 30 Rock. Inevitable, really.

The guy from Glee just gave a shout out to public ("state" in the UK) school teachers which I think was a rebuttal to Robert De Niro's earlier comment about how he works to keep his kids in private schools.

Anyway, that's as close to controversy as we're likely to get tonight.

Alicia Keys, for no obvious reason, is presenting the clip for Black Swan. God, she's annoying, isn't she? What is it about Alicia Keys that is so irritating? Oh yeah, it's her music. That's what's so annoying.

Halle Berry presenting award for Best Actor in Musical or Comedy.

AWARD! Despite Johnny Depp's double nod it went - as predicted and desired - to Paul Giametti. That's nice. I like Giametti, even though I wasn't mad about the film. Giametti gives a shout out to the actresses in the film, "a trifecta of hotties."

Is it wrong that I liked that? He ends by saluting "the great nation of Canada." As I said, the Globes is all about getting drunk.

Joseph Gordon Levitt is presenting a boring clip of boring Inception. Levitt claims that the movie "did something new." Well, it put me to sleep and, as a frequent insomniac, I guess that was something new.

Jeff Bridges now presenting Best Actress in a Drama. God please don't let it be Kidman God please God please no.

AWARD! Natalie Portman, no surprise. Big snog from her husband, the choreographer who is, hilariously, named Benjamin Millepied. I'm sorry, but isn't that the kind of name Dickens would give to a choreographer - "Mr Thousandfeet."

Portman looks lovely in her pink maternity dress. Bad speech, though -
She thanks her fiance, Benjamin, for "helping me to continue this creation of creating new life." She then announces that Benjamin "totally wants to sleep with me!" and proceeds to make possibly the worst laugh I have ever heard. How delightfully unexpected.

AWARD! For Best Film - Comedy or Musical: The Kids Are All Right! Well, thank God, frankly, or, as promised this laptop would have been out the window. And then where would this liveblog be?

The producer hogged the entire speech and poor Lisa Cholodenko - who directed and wrote the film - didn't get a word in edgeways! I am annoyed on her behalf.

Wow, I am NOT liking Sandra Bullock's new hair. She looks like Pocafrickinghonts! Anyway, she's presenting Best Actor - Drama. Go Colin/Jesse/James!

AWARD! Yay, it's Colin Firth, as predicted and deserved! Wow, it's like Britain itself won the award, isn't it, British media? The British are coming, etc etc. Well, the Briton is coming, anyway.

I bet Hugh Grant is weeping into his whiskey now. Well, he should be.

Oh look, it's Michael Douglas, presenting something. The main point here is clearly Douglas himself and he duly gets a standing ovation.

"There has to be an easier way to get a standing ovation," he says. Well played, Michael Douglas. How can anyone not love Mr Romancing the Stone, right?

AWARD! Best film - The Social Network, as predicted and semi-deserved. I preferred Black Swan but The Social Network will definitely do. And I love how they play Trent Reznor's music every time The Social Network gets something. Best thing about the film, in my opinion.

Well, that's it for tonight everyone. No real surprises in the film sections, quite a few surprises in the TV category.

All in all, The Social Network was the big winner tonight and I'm betting that the Oscars will pretty much copy the Golden Globes.

OK, I'm going to bed now where I'll probably dream about January Jones' dress, Sandra Bullock's hair and Andrew Garfield's inability to speak. It's a living.

Thanks for joining and come back tomorrow night for the liveblog of Piers Morgan's CNN debut. The glamour never ends round here.


guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2011 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

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Seven Monthly Bills Most People Have, and Seven Ways to Reduce Each Bill

The other day, I opened my mailbox and what I found inside was painful. I found an energy bill and a mortgage statement and a phone bill and a water bill and an insurance statement and an internet bill. As I looked through them, I could just see the money leaving my accounts, floating through [...]

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Assorted links for January 19, 2011

Some great uncluttering and simple living articles from the news and around the web.

Like this site? Buy Erin Rooney Doland's Unclutter Your Life in One Week from Amazon.com today.

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Kuka the Dancing Robot Translates Music Into Art, With a Blow Torch

A dancing robot in Germany is providing an entirely new, and high-tech, meaning to the ol' musical phrase "spinning wax." Created by designer Hermann August Weizenegger and composer Michalj Kekenj for Berlin's Made art studio, the Kuka robo-dancer possesses unprecedented moves and skills. According to Wired, "the robot is programmed to process and interpret Kekenj's musical compositions -- which he plays on the violin -- into digital data." Equipped with a rotating drill bit, a blowtorch and other armaments, Kuka then carefully sculpts a physical representation of that digital musical data from a block of wax. (Check out a video of Kuka after the break.) And, for the heavy metal art fans, Weizenegger and Kekenj apparently hope to cast their favorite pieces in bronze.

Continue reading Kuka the Dancing Robot Translates Music Into Art, With a Blow Torch

Kuka the Dancing Robot Translates Music Into Art, With a Blow Torch originally appeared on Switched on Thu, 27 Jan 2011 16:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Spam Text Message Detonates Suicide Bomber, Prevents Moscow Attack

cell phoneRussia avoided a potentially devastating suicide bomb attack last month, thanks to one particularly well-timed text message.

According to Russian security sources, the attack was supposed to be carried out by an unnamed woman, believed to be part of a radical Islamist terror group. The woman reportedly planned to strap a bomb to herself, and blow herself up in the middle of a crowded Moscow square on New Year's Eve. Like many other devices used in suicide bomb attacks, the explosives attached to this particular bomber were designed to detonate in response to a text message. The woman was to walk into the square, place herself in a crowded area, and wait for one of her accomplices to send the text that would blow her up. The only problem, though, was that she forgot to turn off her phone.

Continue reading Spam Text Message Detonates Suicide Bomber, Prevents Moscow Attack

Spam Text Message Detonates Suicide Bomber, Prevents Moscow Attack originally appeared on Switched on Fri, 28 Jan 2011 13:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Laundry Agreement

Yesterday, I made a passing reference to The Laundry Agreement. A couple of eagle-eyed readers noticed a further reference in the screenshot I posted to illustrate the article. Kevin and Samantha both searched for answers at GRS, but couldn’t find them. I guess that means I’ve never mentioned the Laundry Agreement before. The Laundry Agreement [...]

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Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Thomas Beale Cipher, Sony PlayStation Phone Gets Previewed

Here are a few of the other noteworthy things we saw today on our never-ending journey through the wild, wild Web.

Read:

MoMA acquires digital typefaces; what does that mean?
It was actually a fascinating conversation with MoMA, as we each worked to imagine how this bequest could be useful to the museum for eternity. What might it mean when the last computer capable of recognizing OpenType is gone? What will it mean when computers as we know them are gone? How does one establish the insurance value of a typeface: not its price, but the cost of maintaining it in working order?
We, Robots
And yet, as Turkle notes, these trends show no sign of abating, as people increasingly gravitate toward technologies that allow us to interact while inattentive or absent. Our excuse is always the same - we'd love to talk, but there just isn't time. Send us an e-mail. We'll get back to you.

Watch:

Know:

  • Engadget has an in-depth preview of the new Android-powered Sony PlayStation Phone. [From: Engadget]
  • The Cutline reports the New York Times is considering creating a WikiLeaks-esque system for potential leakers. [From: The Cutline]

Got a tip? Want to talk to us? In need of more choice links like these? Drop us a line on Twitter and check out our Tumblr blog.

The Thomas Beale Cipher, Sony PlayStation Phone Gets Previewed originally appeared on Switched on Wed, 26 Jan 2011 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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ABC To Revive Sync iPad App With 'Grey's Anatomy'

Look for ABC (NYSE: DIS) to announce next week that the Sync iPad app will be back in Apple’s app store with one of its biggest hit series, Grey’s Anatomy. Sync, which ABC launched together with Nielsen last year, synchronizes additional content on the iPad relevant to what’s going on in an episode on your TV.

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The Monkeys You Ordered

Aisha Tyler K. D. Aubert Sara Spraker Alexis Bledel Kim Kardashian

Reader Story: Coping with My Inheritance

This guest post from Susannah is part of the “reader stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all levels of financial maturity and with all sorts of incomes. I grew up in [...]

Giulianna Ramirez Ashley Greene April Scott Mia Kirshner Elisabeth Röhm

How to Tie a Barrel Hitch

A barrel hitch is a simple but effective knot for suspending objects by forming a sling around the object, which supports it from below and from the sides. It is often used to hoist cargo aboard ships.[1] The barrel hitch keeps an object vertical, while its sister knot, the barrel sling, suspends an object on its side.[2] In this article, you'll learn how to tie a barrel hitch.

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AT&T CEO: 'We have not been very aggressive with Android'

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Why 3D Doesn?t Work and Never Will

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? Too Late

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Lockheed Builds Jets in Seriously Awesome, Kind of Embarrassing Virtual Environment

Lockheed's CHIL
When designing a new aircraft, engineers must be able to get a feel for how the jet might come together -- and, generally, the only way to do that is to actually build a mock-up and crawl inside. But, with the Collaborative Human Immersive Laboratory or CHIL (which is pronounced exactly how you'd expect... with a heavy dose of shame), engineers can get some "hands-on" time with their creations through the use of virtual reality. Those people who look like they're doing the robot in the video posted after the break are actually navigating a virtual craft in three-dimensional space. The virtual environment offers some tangible benefits (besides cost) over a real prototype. For one, changes can be made and quickly evaluated without having to build an entirely new model. It also makes it possible for several people to collaborate on a single model from across the country or across the globe. Models can even have data superimposed over them, so that engineers can quickly see important measurements.

The tech was developed by Lockheed's Virtual Reality Systems Integration Lab. As you can see in the second demo video posted after the break, CHIL is capable of some pretty spiffy graphics. In fact, we can't help but imagine the tech being used to create one incredibly realistic first-person shooter. We wonder what it would take to port 'Half Life 2' to CHIL...

Continue reading Lockheed Builds Jets in Seriously Awesome, Kind of Embarrassing Virtual Environment

Lockheed Builds Jets in Seriously Awesome, Kind of Embarrassing Virtual Environment originally appeared on Switched on Wed, 26 Jan 2011 16:50:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Google begins censoring torrent queries in searches

By Ed Oswald, Betanews

Google took steps Thursday to honor a previous commitment to root out piracy in its searches, beginning to censor torrent searches from its Autocomplete and Instant functionality. The Mountain View, Calif. company's efforts don't seem perfect: several torrent searches still seemed to be available.

Among the terms apparently filtered out include popular clients BitTorrent and Rapidshare according to reports. On some built-in search functions in browsers such as Internet Explorer and Safari, the terms appear to have disappeared. Betanews was still able to search for specific torrents such as "windows xp torrent," however, and Google was still returning torrent links through Instant at least for our testers.

Standard searching appears not to be affected, thus these changes could be quite superficial without any real change to Google's search algorithms itself.

Regardless, the move will prove to be controversial. A BitTorrent spokesperson told TorrentFreak that its company name was unique, and "we're pretty confident that anyone typing the first six or seven letters deserves the same easy access to results as with any other company search," it said.

The company added that torrent search results do return "a variety" of legitimate results, and that it believes Google does not realize that our technology is used for many purposes that provide significant value to the technology industry, companies, artists and consumers at large."

Copyright Betanews, Inc. 2010

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How to Make Mixed Nut Toffee Tart

This is a delicious toffee tart with crunchy roasted nuts that can be enjoyed with your afternoon tea or coffee. This recipe serves 4 to 6.

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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Egypt's telecommunications blackout crushes citizen journalism

By Tim Conneally, Betanews

Egypt protests

Responding to widespread civil unrest, the government of Egypt on Thursday evening ordered all private network operators to shut down their services, both wired and wireless.

At around 12:30am local time, Egypt's outbound connections to the Internet hit a brick wall, and fell approximately 80%. Both BGP Mon and Renesys observed similar withdrawals of Border Gateway Protocol (BGP) routes in Egypt.

A statement from Vodafone, the British telecommunications company responsible for one of Egypt's three major cellular networks, said all mobile operators, likewise, were instructed to suspend service in areas where anti-government protests were taking place.

"Under Egyptian legislation, the authorities have the right to issue such an order and we are obliged to comply with it. The Egyptian authorities will be clarifying the situation in due course," Vodafone's statement said on Friday.

More than 24 hours later, the communications blackout was still in effect.

"I have been able to connect with my family through landlines only, as the cell phones and internet were turned off," Dr. Ibrahim Karim, Montreal-based Author and alternative medicine researcher told us today. "[It] is really frustrating everybody."

There is only one landline telephone company in Egypt, Telecom Egypt, which is controlled by the government.

The blockage was done to thwart seditionaries and protestors who had been using social media outlets to organize activities and share information about the uprising with the outside world.

White House Press Seceretary Robert Gibbs said the Egyptian government "must respect the rights of the Egyptian people, and turn on social networking and Internet." This sentiment was later echoed at a press briefing by Seceretary of State Hillary Clinton.

According to 2010 estimates from Internet World Statistics, Egypt is the second most-connected African country with 17,060,000 internet users and an estimated 4,077,520 Facebook users.

Though it's the sixteenth most populous nation in the world (80.47 million population) this level of connectivity is disproportionately low. Germany, which is Egypt's nearest neighbor in terms of population with 82.2 million residents, has 65 million connected citizens or a staggering 80 percent. Vietnam, a country with 89.5 million residents, had 24.26 million Internet-connected citizens, or 27 percent. Only about 21% of Egypt's population is connected.

So even though only a small proportion of the Egyptian population uses the Internet in any fashion, and an even smaller fragment used it to share information about anti-government protests, the effect it has had on the news flow has been staggering.

Slowly, however, the nation found ways to reconnect.

Activist group We Rebuild reportedly began providing Egyptian citizens dial-up numbers so they could connect to the Web over the copper infrastructure still available to them.

Secretary-General of the International Telecommunications Union, Dr. Hamadoun Tour�, issued a statement Saturday advocating the move: "ITU is a champion of the world's right to communicate. We believe this is a basic human right. We actively encourage all stakeholders -- governments, corporations, citizens -- to do everything in their power to keep the lines of communication open."

Vodafone on Saturday put out another statement, saying it was able to restore voice services as soon as it was allowed.

"We would like to make it clear that the authorities in Egypt have the technical capability to close our network, and if they had done so it would have taken much longer to restore services to our customers," the company's statement said. "It has been clear to us that there were no legal or practical options open to Vodafone, or any of the mobile operators in Egypt, but to comply with the demands of the authorities. Moreover, our other priority is the safety of our employees and any actions we take in Egypt will be judged in light of their continuing wellbeing."

Copyright Betanews, Inc. 2010

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Amazon Launches Kindle Singles

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When To Walk Away From A Bad Mortgage

This post is from staff writer Sierra Black. Sierra writes about frugality, sustainable living, and getting her kids to eat kale at Childwild.com. Since the housing bubble burst, many Americans have found their finances underwater. They’re paying on homes that are worth much less than the mortgages against them. More than a few have chosen [...]

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?My Trilogy Kicks Your Trilogy?s Ass? T-Shirts

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2011 CES Tablets

Mia Kirshner Elisabeth Röhm Lily Allen Emmanuelle Chriqui Anna Faris

Watch the Crowdsourced Film 'Life in a Day' Tonight on YouTube

Life in a Day
By now, you've probably heard about the Ridley Scott and Kevin Macdonald project 'Life in a Day,' a film culled entirely from videos submitted to YouTube. (The project knits together videos that document how approximately 1,125 people spent July 24th, 2010.) The footage was culled from over 80,000 submissions, and whittled down to a feature-length film, which will be making its debut later today at the Sundance Film Festival. Those who can't get into Sundance can watch the film as a live-stream on YouTube at 8 p.m. EST tonight, or when it's rebroadcast tomorrow night. After that, though, you'll have to wait for 'Life in a Day' to be released in theaters on July 24th, 2011 -- exactly one year to the day after the source footage was captured. Check out a preview of the film after the break.

Continue reading Watch the Crowdsourced Film 'Life in a Day' Tonight on YouTube

Watch the Crowdsourced Film 'Life in a Day' Tonight on YouTube originally appeared on Switched on Thu, 27 Jan 2011 15:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Internet feeds unrest in Egypt, Egypt turns off the Internet (blog)

The protests in both Tunisia and Egypt have cast the spotlight on the role of the Internet in political unrest. Egypt has gone as far as to� cut off nearly all Internet traffic into and out of the country (along … Continue reading

Cat Power January Jones Christina DaRe Malin Akerman Melissa Joan Hart

The Switch to Hand-Bottled Water

One of the more costly (and unhealthy) routines I once had was grabbing sodas out of the refrigerator, taking them into my office, and gulping them down. Not only was it costing my health, but it was also an expensive routine. Even if you buy in bulk, a can of soda is still going to [...]

Lena Headey Ali Larter Angelina Jolie Erica Leerhsen Angela Marcello

15+ Ways to Recycle Pantyhose

Ladies, you've all been there. Your favourite pair of knee highs or pantyhose just got a run in them. Wonderful. You don't want to throw them away, so what can you do with them now? Certainly not wear them. How about recycling them!? Not only will you be saving money, but you'll also give them a new lease on life. Here are some great and useful ways to put those ruined pairs of pantyhose to good use.

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Samsung and ZTE shift the spotlight from Apple in Q4 mobile phone shipments

By Joe Wilcox, Betanews

Samsung and ZTE were big winners selling mobile phones in 2010, based on new data released by IDC. Apple fell from fourth to fifth place. Smartphone shipments drove year-over-year growth to a new quarterly high -- 17.9 percent -- in fourth quarter. Unit shipments rose from 340.5 million units to 401.4 million. IDC measures shipments into the channel, which means unsold handsets are counted. Gartner should soon release actual sales data, for which the numbers will be lower.

For the year, manufacturers shipped 1.39 billion cell phones, up 18.5 percent from 1.17 billion units a year earlier. The United Nations estimates there are 5 billion cellular subscribers worldwide. IDC predicts that smartphones will be the major sales growth driver through 2014. This year, smartphone shipments are projected to rise by nearly 44 percent year over year.

"The mobile phone market has the wind behind its sails," Kevin Restivo, IDC senior research analyst, said in a statement. "Mobile phone users are eager to swap out older devices for ones that handle data as well as voice, which is driving growth and replacement cycles."

IDC spotlighted an ongoing trend that American bloggers and journalists obsessed with iPhone have ignored: Handsets coming out of China. ZTE moved up into fourth place in market share, largely from shipping lower-cost handsets into emerging markets. Meanwhile, grey market smartphones -- many of them running Android -- are gaining sales momentum in Asia. These grey market devices often imitate better-selling handsets like iPhone while offering new features or capabilities, such as dual-SIM slots.

By the way, ZTE pushed Apple into fifth place, and the maker of iPhone risks dropping out of the Top 5 altogether. "Change-up among the number four and five vendors could be a regular occurrence this year," added Ramon Llamas, IDC senior research analyst, said in a statement. "Motorola, Research In Motion, and Sony Ericsson, all vendors with a tight focus on the fast-growing smartphone market who had ranked among the top five worldwide vendors during 2010 are well within striking distance to move back into the top five list."

The data also reveals that contrary to a string of Nokia�epitaphs from analysts, bloggers and journalists, the Finnish phone maker isn't dead yet. While Nokia handset shipments declined by 2.4 percent year over year during fourth quarter, to 123.7 million units, smartphone shipments rose by 38 percent. However, for the year, Nokia market share dropped to 32.6 percent from 36.9 percent year over year. Still, Nokia shipped, 453 million handsets, or more than the next three vendors combined among the Top 5.

Samsung topped 80 million quarterly shipments for the first time, buoyed in part by its hugely successful Galaxy S line. Samsung is having success in emerging markets as well as mature ones. By comparison, iPhone sold particularly well in mature markets, such as Europe and North America.

IDC phones 2010

Regionally, South Korea emerged as the big market for Asia-Pacific, accounting for about two-thirds of Q4 phone shipments. In Western Europe, smartphones pushed down feature phones, which declined at their briskest pace ever. Among smartphones, Apple iPhone 4, HTC Desire, Nokia N8, Research in Motion Blackberry 852S and Samsung Galaxy S were the big sellers (presented alphabetically by carrier not by shipments).

In Central Europe, Middle East and Africa, quarterly shipments topped 70 million units -- a new high -- led by the aforementioned Chinese branded and unbranded handsets.�In North America and Latin America, smartphones continued to drive shipment volumes. ZTE pushed hard into the latter region.

IDC phones 2010

Again, I'd like to point out the American ethnocentric -- and quite honestly Apple-biased -- tendencies of bloggers and journalists here. The IDC numbers aren't being reported as widely today as previous quarterly shipments. Perhaps because the numbers aren't exceptional for Apple. The few reports I've seen focus more on Apple falling to fifth place than anything else, missing the broader and more important global trends.

Copyright Betanews, Inc. 2010

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